Secrets and Betrayals
by eblonde
Summary: When Lisbon is injured during an investigation, Jane must come to her aide when she begins to remember things from her past, she had long ago suppressed. Will diving into her family history allow her to make peace with her past, or will it completely shatter the persona she has so eagerly tried to build. Rated K for now, but may change in further chapters. ]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N this is just something I thought I would try out on a mere whim. To those of you who are still waiting on PJ's Daughter… I will be coming back to it soon… I'm just having a little trouble on how to word the next chapter… as it is a delicate one. Anyway for now, I hope you enjoy the beginning of this =]**

Lisbon walked into the break room to find Jane making a pot of his beloved tea.

"Ah Lisbon! Just the person I was looking for!" Jane said flashing one of his world class smiles.

Lisbon looked slightly confused by this.

"Me? How could you possibly have been looking for me what you are brewing tea?" Lisbon replied with a smirk. "I know you have talents, but I didn't think multi tasking was something you could accomplish… unless you've been taking certain scripts of oestrogen."

Jane put a hand to his heart, feigning a hurt look.

"Ha! Oh Lisbon, you're killing me you're so funny."

Lisbon smiled innocently at her consultant.

"You know, you've hurt me, degrading me to be a liar… and you just disrespected my entire gender!" Jane shot at her. Although his tone was menacing, Lisbon could still see the hint of sparkle in his eye.

Lisbon chuckled slightly. "What was it you wanted me for?"

"Well I was going to ask you if you wanted a cup of coffee while I was here… but seeing as you've just been mean to me… I don't think I will!"

Lisbon actually sniggered at that.

"Awww… Jane… is the big mean agent picking on you?"

Jane nodded sadly.

Lisbon walked forward and smacked him on the shoulder.

"Toughen up Goldilocks, it not like I stole your toys in the sandbox."

"Goldilocks?" Jane shook his head. "Come on, you could have come up with something more original!"

Lisbon smiled at this.

"Oh and by the way… I never played in the sandbox… never went to preschool."

"Of course… carny folk." Lisbon muttered.

Lisbon moved past Jane to start brewing her own coffee.

"Lisbon, how are you? You look tired."

"I always look tired Jane. That's what I get having to look after my pain in the arse consultant all the time." She said giving him a slight shove. After adding the sweetener to her coffee, she stirred it and looked up into Jane's face. He actually looked concerned.

"Jane?"

"Lisbon… I…"

He put his cup and saucer on the counter and looked down at his feet.

"Jane?" Lisbon tried again.

Jane sighed, closing his eyes as he did. When he opened them, Lisbon was peering worriedly into his face. Why was he feeling so nervous about this?"

"Jane? are you alright?"

"Lisb… Teresa.. I never got to say sorry to you… or thank you, come to think of it."

"For what Jane?" Lisbon asked in slight confusion.

"For everything. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I put you through so much and most importantly… I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend."

"Jane…" Lisbon said her voice turning soft. Any sense of their sarcastic attitudes from before had completely diminished. "Jane you did what you had to do in order to catch Red John."

Jane shook his head at that.

"Yes but we didn't catch him though. It was all for nothing. Wainwright died for nothing." Jane looked at the floor again.

Lisbon hadn't seen Jane look this upset in a long time. She could see he was truly hurting.

"Jane… when we all joined the CBI, we took an oath to protect the citizens of California. Wainwright died doing what he swore to do. He knew the risks." When he didn't answer she continued, stepping forward and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Wainwright's death wasn't your fault Jane… you didn't pull the trigger."

"…and that brings me to another point. I've ruined Darcy's career… she's suffering a mental break… it seems everything I touch turns to hell."

Lisbon was at a loss for words. This sad emotional person standing in front of her, was not the Patrick Jane she knows. For him to show his emotions at such an ease in front of her, was so out of character.

"Jane… I…" she was cut off by the shrill ring of her phone. She gave him an apologetic look and pulled out her phone, answering with the standard "Lisbon."

The voice on the other end of the phone cackled with menace.

"Who is this?" she asked sternly.

"I know what happened Teresa. I know what bothers you most."

"Who is this?" she asked again. "How did you get this number?"

"Teresa Lisbon. I know you. You can't hide forever." The voice sniggered again, before the line went dead. Shocked, Lisbon lowered her phone to the counter, not hanging up in case Grace was able to trace the call.

"Lisbon?" Jane asked, walking up to her. "Who was that?"

Lisbon shook her head.

"I don't know."

She knew that the volume was high enough on her phone that Jane would have heard every word.

"Hey, you stay here, I'll take this through to Grace to see if she can put a trace on it."

Lisbon nodded dumbly as Jane picked up her phone and strolled in the direction of the bullpen.

She had heard that voice before... she had no idea when or where, she just knew it chilled her to her very bones.

Lifting her rapidly cooling coffee to her lips, she down half of the bitter drink, in the hopes of calming her nerves a little. Her eyes darted to the doorway when she saw Jane re-enter the break room.

"Lisbon?"

She shook her head at the ridiculousness of her reaction. She was a god damn senior agent… she should be able to control her emotions a lot better.

Upon seeing Lisbon's slightly pale complexion, he reached out for her elbow and lowered her to a seat.

"Lisbon? What was all of that about?"

She looked into his eyes, and saw nothing but kindness staring back at her.

She cleared her throat, in the hopes of sounding stronger than she felt. How could one silly phone call rark her up so much?

"I… ah… I've heard that voice before." She confessed. "A long time ago. I can't quite remember when… but I just know… that it scared me as much then as it does now."

Jane nodded in understanding.

"Grace is running the trace now… we will know any minute where he rang from."

As if by magic, Grace appeared with a piece of paper in her hand and Lisbon's cell phone.

"The call came from Woodland, from a house that is presently registered to a Mr John Hawkings."

"I don't know the name." Lisbon said almost relieved.

"Should we go check it out Boss?" Grace asked as she handed Lisbon back her cell phone.

Lisbon nodded her affirmation.

"Yeah… it couldn't hurt to check it out… I want to know how he got my bloody number. Tell Cho and Rigsby to suit up and be ready in the parking lot with a rushed warrant."

"Yes Boss."

Once Grace was gone, Jane looked back to Lisbon.

"You don't have to go you know."

"What?"

"Lisbon, you were pretty shaken up over than voice… I think somehow you've repressed a memory… something that man did to you… something horrible that you don't want to remember."

"Jane that's absurd." She retorted.

"Not really Lisbon. You don't usually go white as a ghost when some guy gets a hold of your number."

"Jane your being paranoid. Besides, I need to go and watch out for my team…" she said standing up.

"Lisbon…"

"I have to go."

All Jane could do was sigh at her retreating back.

With warrant in check and without Lisbon's agreement on the matter, Jane tagged along with the rest of the team to Woodland. He was eager to keep an eye on Lisbon, after his near death and the ploy of Red John wanting her dead body, Jane didn't bode well to having her out of his sight for very long.

Once the team was geared up, Grace and Rigsby took the rear of the house, while Lisbon and Cho took the front. Jane followed Cho and Lisbon through to the front door, and stood to the side as Lisbon knocked on the door.

"CBI open up!"

After a moment of no answer, Cho tried the door and found it to be unlocked. Warning Grace and Rigsby that they were entering, Lisbon and Cho drew their guns and entered the house, shouting "clear" as they checked off each room. Jane went to the backdoor to allow Grace and Rigsby entry.

Lisbon, on the other hand, had moved onto checking the upstairs rooms. She slipped into one of the bedrooms, finding the space to be empty. As she was about to leave, a figure emerged from behind the wardrobe and charged at her with a cricket bat. Before she even had time to register what was happening, she heard a sickening crack of the bat on her skull, before her vision faded and the ground rushed up with alarming speed to meet her.

Upon hearing a crashing thump coming from one of the upstairs bedrooms, Jane and Cho took off at a run towards the staircase. They burst into the bedroom to see a figure climbing out the window, and Lisbon lying motionless, with a pool of blood under her head.

"No…" Jane whispered as he rushed down to her side. He barely even noticed Cho rushing after the figure out the window.

"Oh Lisbon… no no no."

Jane turned her onto her side as Grace and Rigsby burst into the room.

"Call an ambulance." Jane cried as he took off his jacket and tried to staunch the bleeding. She must have taken one hell of a blow to the head for it to bleed this much.

"Teresa can you hear me?" Jane asked desperately as Grace got onto calling 911. When he didn't get a response, he sighed in exasperation.

"Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have let her out of my sight!" Jane said helplessly.

"It's not your fault man." Rigsby said in his own way of trying to comfort him. "Where's Cho?"

"He went after the guy… out the window."

Rigsby nodded at this and took off down the stairs to try to find his partner.

Jane felt Lisbon stir and immediately he set off trying to wake her.

"Lisbon? Teresa… can you hear me?" At first there was no reaction, but after a moment her eyes fluttered open. Although she stared vaguely, he could also see the hint of recognition in her eyes.

"Jane?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"Jane… don't move so fast… my head hurts."

He actually chuckled at that.

"Jane… I know who he is."

"Who who is?"

"The voice… it's the driver…"

"The driver?"

"The man who was in the accident with my mother… the one who killed her."

"Oh…?"

"Jane I don't think it was an accident."

"What do you mean by that Lisbon?"

He could see her rapidly beginning to lose consciousness again, so he eagerly tried to keep her awake.

"Lisbon… I need you to try to stay awake… it's very important you try to keep talking to me." he said sternly.

"Jane… my mother was murdered… I think my father was too… and Jane… I think I'm next."

"Lisbon… now who's being paranoid?" He watched as her eyes fell shut and her body went limp with unconsciousness. "Lisbon? Lisbon I need you to wake up for me."

He tapped the side of her face, trying to awaken her but with no such luck. Grace chose that point to re-enter the room.

"Ambulance is on its way, they're also sending backup to try to catch the bastard that ran out the window. He managed to evade Cho and Rigsby.

Jane nodded in response.

"How is she?" Grace asked with genuine worry.

"She woke for a minute but she's lost consciousness again. She'll be ok though."

Grace nodded at that, understanding that he was more-so trying to convince himself than her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N thank you for such positive feedback on the first chapter! You're all amazing!**

_One week earlier_

To say that she was bored, would be the understatement of the century. Lisbon had been sent home yesterday after she had collapsed from a cold that had been plaguing her senses for the past four days. She had arrived at the office an hour late, spilt coffee on her top, sneezed on a suspect and to top it all off, managed to collapse onto none other than Patrick Jane. While he had been nothing but gentlemanly and caring when she went down, she had still felt herself get a little flustered at the close proximity of the contact.

Not long after that, she was sent home with a box of Kleenex and a packet of throat lozenges.

So here she was, curled up on the couch, and feeling positively bored. Sure it had only been a day and a half since she had been at work, but when you've been working full time for as long as she has, you get attached to the job and the people you work with. You're basically married to your job… and spending time away from her one true love, well… you could say she was suffering from a fate far worse than any flu… she had cabin fever.

Groaning in frustration, and finally becoming impatient enough to actually do something about it, she kicked back her blanket from the couch and ventured into the laundry for cleaning supplies. If she wasn't allowed to go to work… then she was going to work at home.

Lisbon started by flicking on one of her favourite Spice Girls playlists and made her way into the kitchen.

_Jane would have a field day if he saw me now… listening to the Spice Girls and pretending to be domestic. _She chuckled to herself, wondering how… and why Patrick Jane jumped into her head.

After half an hour of thorough cleaning, the kitchen was sparkling – if a little empty. She would have to get groceries later.

Next she made her way into the lounge, singing and dancing as she went. She busied herself dusting off the surfaces and the TV.

"If you wana be my lover!" she sang as she ran the cloth over her coffee table. Stifling a sneeze from the dust, she reached out for a tissue and blew her nose. Shaking off the fogginess that was creeping back into her brain, she sat down in front of the hall closet, ready to attack that next. She had been meaning to clean out the cupboard for a while, but had never found the time.

Digging right in to the back of the cupboard she pulled out some old shoe boxes. At that moment the song on her playlist changed to 'Mama'. Ironically, when she opened the first shoe box, her old family album was nestled under some tissue paper.

She sighed.

Now she remembered why she had put off cleaning this cupboard out for so long. She was about to put the boxes back, when she felt a rush of sentimentalism course through her. It was about time she got over her fears of her family. Anything in this album was of good times… but to be honest, that's what scares her. The fact that she has more bad memories of her childhood, then good, suggests her issues run deeper than she would care to admit.

She turned around, leaning against the wall, and carefully opened the album to the first page. The first photo was of her mother and father on their wedding day. She flipped past the honeymoon photo's and landed on a double page, the first showing her mother pregnant with her. She was holding her belly and smiling up at the camera. The second was a photo of her mother holding her for the first time. No amount of words could describe the love that was glue to her mother's face as she looked at her for the first time.

As she did every time Lisbon looked at pictures of her mother, she began to feel herself getting choked up. Her whole childhood had been destroyed thanks to that idiot drunk, that slammed into her mother's car, killing her instantly. He had walked away with no much more than a scratch.

She sighed, her breath getting caught in her throat as she tried to control her emotions. Leaning her head against the wall behind her, she closed her eyes and listened to the rest of the song.

When the music switched over, she felt herself slowly beginning to come out of the unhappy trance. Wiping her face, she placed the album carefully back in the shoe box and returned it to the cupboard.

She opened the other box to find a bunch of old papers and documents. Sifting through them, she pulled out a Christmas card that her and her brothers had made for their parents the last Christmas before her mother died. Chucking the card aside, she pulled out a thick file. Inside were detailed and dated assessments of what looked to be cases.

She recognised her father's messy scrawl straight away. Turns out she doesn't get her impeccable paper work skills from her mother after all. She had never really known this side of her father… after all her mom did die when she was twelve.. and she couldn't really remember much of her father from the good days.

Flicking to the back of the file, she pulled out a lone green piece of paper. On it was a list of names. Comparing the names to the notes, she realised this must be a list of names of the people her father had worked with. There was eleven names to be precise. Scanning through the names, she couldn't recognise any until she came to the name on the sheet.

Ryan Horrowitts.

She had seen that name before, but she just couldn't put her mind to where. She figured she just recognised the name from her father. She shook her head. Travelling down memory lane wasn't the best way to spend one's afternoon. Her limbs were beginning to feel heavy again, and she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. Discarding the folder, she made her way back into the lounge and curled up on the couch. Within minutes she was sound asleep.

**OOOOOoooooOOOOO**

There's those moments when a small part of you knows your dreaming, but the larger part, doesn't see the blurred images or hazy edges, you just see what's going through your mind and accept it.

Lisbon was twelve and she was lying on her bed trying like hell to finish her maths homework before her mom got home from her shift at the hospital. It was already past ten and her mom was due home half an hour ago. She had helped her father cook dinner that night and had read the boys a story while he did the dishes. Throwing her pen down in victory, she got up from her desk to get ready for bed. Just as she had finished running a brush through her hair, she heard a knock at the door.

She put her brush down softly and crept to the door to listen. She couldn't hear anything much past the mumble of voices, but from the tone of the men, she knew it was bad news.

Sometime later, her dad came into the room, followed by her three brothers. She could feel her heart beginning to bleed and a lump had formed in her throat that was making her feel like she was about to choke. She had known what her father was going to say before he even uttered a word. Her mother was dead.

The scene changed, flashing to the next day. Young Teresa was sitting on the front porch by herself, reading the newspaper. The headline read _'Local nurse killed in accident". _ She found her eyes filling with tears again. She was never going to see her mother again.

At least she still had her father and the boys, but nothing beats a mother's love for her children.

The article told her that a drunk driver, 26 year old James Horrowitts, had run a red light and smashed right into the side of the car, killing her instantly. He walked away with nothing but a scratch…

Lisbon sat bolt upright on the couch. She brought a hand up to her face and wiped away the tears that had escaped through closed eyes. Getting up in a rush, she hurried over to the wardrobe and pulled out the shoe boxes again. Opening the file, she found the green piece of paper with the names. There on the bottom was Ryan Horrowitts… and beside his name, was the date that he died. James must have been his brother…

**OOOOOoooooOOOOO**

_A few hours earlier_

Lisbon had spent the next couple of days pouring over the files her father had kept, trying to find anything she could about the Horrowitts family. Ryan had been one of the youngest members of her father's team and had been killed in a fire after smoke had left them blind and his partner had abandoned him. Her father had been Chief at the time, and was responsible for all the men in that building that day.

Through his notes, Lisbon could see that the death of the young man had hit him hard. He had stepped down as Chief after that, being happier with driving a truck and taking orders from someone else. He didn't like having his men's lives on his plate.

James had been a bar tender. When his brother died, he went completely off the rails. He was fired from his job and was kicked out of home after the accident. He lived on the streets for a while, until a man took pity on him after reading of her mother's accident.

Lisbon had shook her head in disbelief. Someone had taken pity on a drunk who had killed her mother. Seriously.

She was sitting in her office Wednesday morning, going over the files yet again. She felt like she was missing something.

Jane had been annoying her all week, but had taken the hint to leave her alone when she nearly broke down in front of him.

All the threats in the world wouldn't make him back down, so of course something like her nearly crying would make him leave her alone. Sometimes he more resembles a puppy or a toddler then an adult.

Deciding to run a background check on the brothers, she took her obsession to a new level. She found the address that James had been living at before he was kicked out of home. He had lived three miles west of where she had grown up and he was nowhere near the hospital.

_He had no reason to be at that intersection that night… all the bars would have been closed by then and he lived nowhere near there… what the hell was he doing at that intersection? _Lisbon couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that there is more to her mother's death then anyone had ever cared to admit… especially her father.

She sighed, feeling slightly depressed. Deciding it was time for a coffee break, she logged off her computer and made her way to the break room.

"Ah Lisbon! Just the person I was looking for!" Jane said flashing one of his smiles.

Lisbon immediately felt herself feeling better seeing that twinkle in his eyes.

She responded with a sarcastic remark of her own and soon they were off in a battle of wits.

After a couple of minutes of trying to playfully stomp on each other's pride, Lisbon moved past him to make herself some coffee. She saw Jane's eye's turn soft as he watched her.

"Lisbon, how are you? You look tired."

_Great… is he really pulling out the concerned friend right not? Or is this just another one of his tricks?_

Lisbon decided she wasn't going to risk it and replied with a "I always look tired Jane. That's what I get having to look after my pain in the arse consultant all the time." Seeing no hint of mirth on his face, she gave him a slight shove, to which he didn't respond. "Jane?"

The next couple of minutes was spent with Jane trying to apologize to her for his absence. While she found it incredibly awkward, she also found it quite endearing.

She was at a complete loss for words, she had no idea how to respond to sad and serious Jane. Whenever he showed her this side of him, she felt as if she was treading high waters. Sometimes she forgot how to swim, and she hoped like hell she could keep her head above the water long enough to not offend him.

"Jane… I…" she was cut off by her phone ringing. _Saved by the bell! _

She cast an apologetic look in Jane's direction, before answering with her standard "Lisbon."

The voice on the other end of the phone cackled with menace.

"Who is this?" she asked sternly.

"I know what happened Teresa. I know what bothers you most."

"Who is this?" she asked again. "How did you get this number?"

"Teresa Lisbon. I know you. You can't hide forever." The voice sniggered again, before the line went dead. Shocked, Lisbon lowered her phone to the counter, not hanging up in case Grace was able to trace the call.

"Lisbon?" Jane asked, walking up to her. "Who was that?"

Lisbon shook her head.

"I don't know."

She knew that the volume was high enough on her phone that Jane would have heard every word.

"Hey, you stay here, I'll take this through to Grace to see if she can put a trace on it."

Lisbon nodded dumbly as Jane picked up her phone and strolled in the direction of the bullpen.

She had heard that voice before... she had no idea when or where, she just knew it chilled her to her very bones.

Lifting her rapidly cooling coffee to her lips, she down half of the bitter drink, in the hopes of calming her nerves a little. Her eyes darted to the doorway when she saw Jane re-enter the break room.

"Lisbon?"

She shook her head at the ridiculousness of her reaction. She was a god damn senior agent… she should be able to control her emotions a lot better.

Upon seeing Lisbon's slightly pale complexion, he reached out for her elbow and lowered her to a seat.

"Lisbon? What was all of that about?"

She looked into his eyes, and saw nothing but kindness staring back at her.

She cleared her throat, in the hopes of sounding stronger than she felt. How could one silly phone call rark her up so much?

"I… ah… I've heard that voice before." She confessed. "A long time ago. I can't quite remember when… but I just know… that it scared me as much then as it does now."

Jane nodded in understanding.

"Grace is running the trace now… we will know any minute where he rang from."

As if by magic, Grace appeared with a piece of paper in her hand and Lisbon's cell phone.

"The call came from Woodland, from a house that is presently registered to a Mr John Hawkings."

"I don't know the name." Lisbon said almost relieved.

"Should we go check it out Boss?" Grace asked as she handed Lisbon back her cell phone.

Lisbon nodded her affirmation.

"Yeah… it couldn't hurt to check it out… I want to know how he got my bloody number. Tell Cho and Rigsby to suit up and be ready in the parking lot with a rushed warrant."

"Yes Boss."

Once Grace was gone, Jane looked back to Lisbon.

"You don't have to go you know."

"What?"

"Lisbon, you were pretty shaken up over than voice… I think somehow you've repressed a memory… something that man did to you… something horrible that you don't want to remember."

"Jane that's absurd." She retorted.

"Not really Lisbon. You don't usually go white as a ghost when some guy gets a hold of your number."

"Jane your being paranoid. Besides, I need to go and watch out for my team…" she said standing up.

"Lisbon…"

"I have to go."

All Jane could do was sigh at her retreating back.

**OOOOOoooooOOOOO**

Jane felt Lisbon stir and immediately he set off trying to wake her.

"Lisbon? Teresa… can you hear me?" At first there was no reaction, but after a moment her eyes fluttered open. Although she stared vaguely, he could also see the hint of recognition in her eyes.

"Jane?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"Jane… don't move so fast… my head hurts."

He actually chuckled at that.

"Jane… I know who he is."

"Who who is?"

"The voice… it's the driver…"

"The driver?"

"The man who was in the accident with my mother… the one who killed her."

"Oh…?"

"Jane I don't think it was an accident."

"What do you mean by that Lisbon?"

He could see her rapidly beginning to lose consciousness again, so he eagerly tried to keep her awake.

"Lisbon… I need you to try to stay awake… it's very important you try to keep talking to me." he said sternly.

"Jane… my mother was murdered… I think my father was too… and Jane… I think I'm next."

"Lisbon… now who's being paranoid?" He watched as her eyes fell shut and her body went limp with unconsciousness. "Lisbon? Lisbon I need you to wake up for me."

**OOOOOoooooOOOOO**

_Present time_

The ambulance arrived ten minutes later, and Lisbon had not woken again. the EMTs rushed into the room, listening to Grace update them as they went. Jane was having a hard time thinking, let alone talking, all he was capable of doing at that moment was trying to staunch the bleeding in her head wound, and trying to gently coax her out of unconsciousness.

The male paramedic knelt beside Jane and started to assess Lisbon's condition. He reached out and removed Jane's jacket, before replacing it with gauze strips.

"Blood flow beginning to slow." He moved to her eyes. "Pupils dilated. Has she regained consciousness?"

Jane nodded in response, not taking his eyes off Lisbon.

"Was she lucid?"

"Ah… yes, but she fell unconscious again straight away."

The paramedic nodded.

"Let's get her on the gurney." He fastened on a neck brace and carefully lifted her onto the gurney with the help of the other EMT and Grace.

Jane followed them out to the ambulance and climbed in after Lisbon. Seeing her lying there so pale, and bleeding, he couldn't help but think this was his fault. He had known something had been wrong the past week, but he hadn't been able to press the matter. He owed her too much, and he knew he had already hurt her. It wasn't fair to cause anymore harm.

The fact that she thought someone was after her scared him. He already worried on a constant basis that one day Red John was going to kill her, especially after his want for her dead body as proof… but to have someone wanting her head… that had nothing to do with him… it kind of put everything out of his control.

He really shouldn't have taken his eye off her.


End file.
